


Discovery

by Shay_Nioum



Series: Intrulogical (Logan/Remus) [10]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Logan has scales, M/M, Scaled! Logan, Self Harm and Mutilation, and insecurity problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-09-24 07:18:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20354545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shay_Nioum/pseuds/Shay_Nioum
Summary: Logan has scales, the fact that he has scales in the first place is probably his best kept secret from the other sides, all of the sides. Given how they treat Deceit and his scales Logan doesn't think he's being too stupid when he tries to get rid of them, unfortunately for him a resident duke has another say in the matter.





	Discovery

The steady sound of liquid dripping into the pale porcelain along with the clinking of metal instruments was the only sound that graced Logan’s ears as he winced to himself, staring at himself in the mirror as his hand moved methodically. Pain lanced up and down his arm and face, as the rich thick blood-drenched, the side of his shirt soaking left hand as his right hand continued to work and move in a steady rhythm just as it always had been. He didn’t pay any attention to the world outside of his bathroom, he didn’t pay any attention to the sounds coming from downstairs, the laughter that was commonplace when the others were together and watching movies. They were having a good time, and while they would still be having a good time whether he was there or not, Logan didn’t dare to show up.

Not looking like this.

The tweezers in his hand slip in his wet grip, poking the delicate open flesh, and Logan whimpers. It’s a weak pathetic sound that slips out before he can even attempt to stop it, it’s a sound that shakes him to his very core leaving the hand holding the tweezers… shaking so badly that he can’t even hope to get a good grip on it even more. The tears that drip down his cheeks burns, it burns worse than anything he had ever felt in his entire life. But… he takes it, because that’s the only thing that he _can_ do right now, the only thing that he can do that’s actually right and not a monumental mess.

His grip tightens on the tweezers, and though it burns, stings, and screams in its own agony of the situation… he keeps going. Ignoring everything that isn’t the task at hand, he has to keep going.. he has to.

“Are you.. are you _bleeding_?”

Before he even knows it, the tweezers fall from his numb grasp, clattering loudly in the porcelain sink in front of him that was more red than white at this point. Without even thinking he’s spinning around, and he already regrets it at the sight of Remus’ face as soon as the creative side catches a good look at just everything that was going on.

Ordinarily, Remus would have welcomed the sight of blood, hell he didn’t know how many times that his own brother had caught him cheerfully kicking up streams of blood on his side of the imagination laughing to himself. He liked to create things just to break them and see what made them tick on the inside, hell he had brought Logan his own creations so many times just to watch the logical side dissect them perfectly in the way that only he could. The thing was, he liked blood, he was oftentimes covered in it when it came to meeting the other ‘light’ sides, just to make them terrified of his very presence. But… but looking at Logan, seeing the dripping… so much of it.

_There so much of it. He’s going to bleed. Why is he bleeding? He’s going to bleed out and become a pale lifeless corpse in this bathroom. Why is he bleeding? Maggots are going to devour him after he dies. Can he die? He’s going to die. Is this my fault? It’s my fault._

“You’re bleeding,” A pressure seized his lungs right there forbidding him to take a single inhale as he stared back at Logan, for the first time in… ever really, he felt faint. “Why are you bleeding? Why haven’t you healed yet?! You’re normally healed by now!” He blurted out, feeling more and more breathless as the seconds ticked by, he didn’t even hear the item that he had been holding fall to his feet. What had he been holding in the first place? Irrelevant. What was he supposed to do? Logan’s injures had never stuck before, he wasn’t supposed to bleed like this. Why was he bleeding like this?! What was going on? “Just..” He swallowed thickly, feeling as if he’d swallow his tongue any second now, “Just stay there, don’t move!”

He knew right where Logan usually kept his first aid kits, given how many times how many times he and Roman had come back covered in bruises, cuts, and scrapes. So within seconds, he had seized the first aid kit that had been stowed under Logan’s desk. His feet slid against the carpet with the effort that he made to scramble back to the bathroom, where Logan, true to Remus’ order, hadn’t moved a single inch. He looked… terrified, as if he honestly hadn’t expected Remus to show up and see any of this.

As if he had wanted to keep it a secret.

A pitiful whine curled in Remus' throat, as he helplessly soaked a patch of gauze in a mixture of rubbing alcohol and peroxide. It would sting, scratch that it would burn like someone had set their own testicles on fire, but… in the off chance that Logan really could die, this would make sure that he wouldn’t get an infection that would eat all of his skin off and leave him as nothing more than a fleshless zombie eating other people’s brains. So honestly, he counted that as a pretty big win as he wiped the dripping blood away from Logan’s cheeks, unable to tell where it was really coming from. There was so much of it… just how long had Logan been at this? How long had he.. how often did he do this?

Logan refused to meet his eyes, and something in Remus’ chest twisted like someone had done a fatality on his heart.

“Why?” He asked, attempting to not sound entitled or too demanding about the answer, “Why were you doing this? What’s wrong?” He was practically begging at this point, as much as he hated it, but wanted.. no, he needed to know. He needed to know so that he could help, so that he could kill and slaughter whatever was making Logan do this.

Was it a curse? Was it something that he could physically fight and conquer for Logan? What if it wasn’t? What if he was just as weak to it as Logan was? What if he… what if he couldn’t help? What then?

_What if Logan died from this?_ The rarest sensation of terror seized Remus’ heart in an iron unyielding grip and refused to let it be. _What if he died and a new Logic took his place, a Logic that didn’t give a rat’s ass about him.. a Logic that hated him while looking exactly like Logan and remembering none of their times together. What if he ordered Roman to kill him? What if he repressed him and Deceit away like they had been so many years ago? What if he didn’t reform at all and just f-_

Something blue shimmered under the blood that was slick against Logan’s cheeks.

Wiping away more and more of the blood, understanding finally dawned on Remus as the bloodied gauze fell limply from his fingers, landing without a sound on the messy bathroom floor. He was sure that his eyes were as wide as could be as he looked at the evidence of.. of just about everything that had shown itself on Logan’s face while the logical side himself only seemed to grow that much more ashamed, turning his entire body away from Remus. Both his clean arm and his bloodied arms curling around himself in a hug that seemingly was to guard him against the creative side’s reaction itself.

It was… it was scales. Glimmering and shining like starlight on the chaotic waves of the ocean. They gleamed faintly under the lights of the bathroom, slick with blood, as hundreds of them lined the sink from where Logan had made it his personal mission to pluck and get rid of each and every one of them.

Logan chewed on his bottom lip, tasting nothing but iron. “You can go now,” He attempted to coldly tell the other, despite how his insides were trembling as bad as they were. “Tell the others or don’t… rest assured they will find out eventually. And well…” An equally humorless and pained smile curled on his lips, “You saw how they reacted to Deceit, now imagine if that were me.”

Without another word needing to be said, Logan plucked the first aid kit from Remus’ grasp setting it roughly on the closed lid of the toilet. Remus was right though, the combination and rubbing alcohol and peroxide did burn like hell, as Logan angrily scrubbed at the patches of missing scales on his cheeks and arms, hardly caring that just what he was doing was irritating his skin more and more. Hardly caring that it made the tears in his eyes spill over as soon as he looked in the mirror, both at his own reflection and at the sight of Remus still not moving from where he had been standing in the first place.

His hand outstretched towards Logan, that... that hurt more than any of the scales that Logan had plucked so painfully off of his body.

It took a solid minute for Remus’ mind to promptly compute everything that he had seen, and then process it.

He had seen Deceit’s scales of course, green and brown scales that glimmered like freshly watered blades of grass whenever Deceit got out of the shower, and scales that… couldn’t be seen anywhere else because of how much the dishonest side kept his own body covered up. It was almost impossible to see Deceit without his gloves, without his long sleeves, and without his jeans and boots that worked well to cover up every inch of his body other than his face that couldn’t exactly be hidden easily. Deceit… who felt the need to hide his scales because.. because.

_“Ugh, I hate him and his creepy snake face!” Roman had groaned to the others, after Deceit had gone through so much work to ensure that he wasn’t revealed to Thomas… and yet still had to do it anyway. Just to be.. to be insulted. Insulted on something that he couldn’t control, insulted based on something that he had been stuck with ever since he had formed, insulted on.. on something that was no his fault. It wasn’t his fault, was it? _

But looking at Logan, Logan who wore short sleeves, who… ordinarily had no qualms about how he looked. How soft he was in compared to the other sides, or about how the shape of his glasses framed his face to look a little differently. Logan who.. who already knew what would happen if he came out with those beautiful scales all over his body, who knew just how the others would react thanks to Deceit himself. He knew how unfair it would be, and yet here he was… doing the worst to himself, just to ensure that the others would still treat him seriously. Even though… they never would, the both of them already knew that, they weren’t exactly the types to treat anything seriously, let alone Logan. He had been doomed from the start, whether he had scales or not.

Something cold burned and writhed inside of Remus’ chest, a wave of white-hot anger that poured inside of him and threatened to burn and scald his inside until there was nothing left but a pile of mushy paste.

Without even thinking about it, his arms latched around Logan’s middle as the logical side had turned away from him, squeezing him as tightly as he possibly could.

“I know my opinion isn’t really the one that you want right now,” He rambled, “But I just want you to know that I think your scales are sexy.. I mean hot.. I mean cool.. I mean…” A tired sigh left the creative side’s lips as he nuzzled the back of Logan’s neck, placing a tender kiss on the spot before lightly nibbling on it for good measure. “I mean… I like them, I would like them even if they were pink and I would like them even if you have scales on your dick. If the others have a problem with them, then…” Something snarled and snapped inside of Remus’ chest, “Then the moment they say something, I will rip out their tongues with my teeth and cook them for you on our anniversary night. Complete with candles and.. and I’ll even get their hearts for you to dissect I promise! I.. I…”

The words tumbled off into nothingness, as Remus was left just hugging Logan as he pressed kiss after kiss against the scaled parts of Logan’s neck. What was he supposed to say that would cheer someone up?

_“You can go now.” Logan’s words had hollowly rung just a few moments ago. _

“I’m not going anywhere my scaled beauty,” He promised, biting and nibbling yet another part of Logan’s neck, a tiny hint of a smile growing as soon as Logan shivered tilting his head to the side as he leaned more and more back into Remus’ touch. “I will be your duke, just as I will be your guard dog.” The creative side whispered, snaking his hands upwards to lovingly run his fingers over the logical side’s lips and cheeks, gingerly caressing the scales and plucked patches as gently as someone like himself could do. “Promise.”

For a moment there was nothing, not a single word from Logan and not a single sound other than the noise of their conjoined breathing in the small space of the bathroom. At least, not until the logical side gripped his hand, giving it a firm squeeze before running his fingers over the creative side’s knuckles. 

Logan didn’t want to look in the mirror, but in doing so he was able to see Remus’ utterly smitten and adoring expression, this.. this was the face of a man of who would hate him or his scales, this was someone who was here right now because he wanted to be. It was a foreign concept for the logical side, he was so used to doing everything on his own, to telling the others he didn’t need help and that he could do it all by himself because he was a serious adult. But maybe… maybe he…

“I..” He swallowed thickly, his tongue dry in his mouth. “I need help,” Logan finally whispered, “The others deserve to know, regardless of what their reaction will be, so.. so will you help me clean up and help me tell them?” He asked, unable to completely keep the fear from his voice despite how sure he was that Remus wouldn’t just leave him here to deal with all of this alone. It had always felt like that, like he was balancing on a thin rope that was cutting into his feet, and that asking for help and just being told no… would send him careening over the edge and to a quicker death than balancing forever would.

It always felt like a gamble, and it had never not felt like that.

For a split second Remus’ arms tightened around him, before abruptly letting go his hands going back towards the forgotten first aid kit.

He wouldn’t be alone as he did this, and he wouldn’t be alone as everything that he had hidden came crashing down. Despite how it would burn and sting, and how the bits of gauze would feel awkward, it was the right thing to do, as he walked out of the bathroom, as he walked out of his room without hiding his face for the first time.

It would hurt if the others rejected him like they had rejected the others, but that would just be something that he’d have to deal with.

And he wouldn’t be dealing with it alone.


End file.
